Tonight I went on, what I assume most girls would think is, "The Perfect Date". He brought me flowers, with lots of greenery (I love greenery) and no scent (I don't like smelly flowers). He made a reservation at a semi-pricey Meditteranean restaraunt. He rented a movie I mentioned once I wanted to see but could never get my hands on. He gave me a killer massage. He left at a reasonable hour, because I was tired and I've had a headache for four days straight. He gave me a hug and a little kiss on the forehead.
And then, one hour later I was at the club, trying to dance away the memory of the entire event.
And why would I do that? He's a nice guy, probably the nicest guy one could ever know.
Let me tell you why, I'll list the reasons why.
1) I work with him. Tomorrow.
2) I don't like Meditteranean food.
3) I don't like guys forking out a busload of cash for me to not eat.
4) When I go on a date, I don't want to sit on my couch watching a movie. That's not a date.
5) I just left a guy who also gives a killer massage.
6) He smoked a cigar and left the end in my ashtray. Ew.
7) I don't like hugging people. Never have. Don't like giving 'em, don't like getting 'em.
8) I don't like him enough for him to be putting his lips anywhere on my body. Even my forehead.
9) He's very-much obese, and I'm very-much short. If I fell in love and had a kid with him, it would get his fat gene and my short gene and I think that's cruel.
10) I'm shallow and don't like dating fat people. Or even looking at them. No offense.
11) He's too nice and I'm too bitchy-I'll chew him up and spit him out and dance on his remains.
12) I DO NOT LIKE HIM!
13) I don't want to even get involved with any guy at all right now. At all. Not until I leave this dumpy town.

And there you have it! Thirteen reasons why "The Perfect Date" was not my idea of perfect. I suppose, in his defense, he's never been on a date before and was probably getting tips from his mom. Shit. I'm going to end up breaking his dear little virgin-heart before it can even fall for me-'cause there's no way I'm believing he's (in any way, shape or form) in love with me.

Fuck. Tomorrow is gonna be awkward. Five awkward hours at work is the last thing I want.
I probably should have gotten drunk tonight-it's hard to dance away a memory.